Technical difficulties

Hey guys, I'm still alive. Barely, but yes, I'm still alive. And at my résidence. I actually made a really nice video update last night detailing the flights and my first day on French soil, but for some reason I haven't as of yet been able to upload it. The data plan I bought for my iPhone is not working and I still need to sort it out, so I've been taking some pictures but mobile uploads are impossible for the moment, as are mobile updates from my phone that I was anticipating to give. Keep hanging in there, though, because now I'm mad and when I'm mad, crap gets done. I would like to be more detailed but at the moment I am going to take a shower because I haven't showered since Friday afternoon due to the unbelievably bad luck I've run into in the last few days. But to tide you over, here are a few interesting points about said last few days:

• I barely slept at all on the flights
• I was lucky enough to have run into another baffled but kind traveler and we sort of helped each other find the city center. Paul is German, doesn't speak much French, and has a very noticeable stutter so I acted as interpreter and he acted as navigator and we both got to the city center safe and sound.
• At the Gare de la Part Dieu, I was very cruelly harassed by some teenage boys who saw my UCLA sweatshirt and heard me speaking English to Paul while we were trying to find a map. They were yelling the most demeaning, awful, degrading things to me in English and French. I wanted to yell back at them because I know quite a lot of the vilest profanities in French, but logic told me this wasn't a good idea. I think if Paul hadn't been there, they might have attacked me. He's kind of tall and when he turned around and just loomed over them, that scared them off and made them leave us alone. We randomly saw a few cops just about a hundred yards away and set off in that direction, and after that everything was okay.
• I barely slept at all in my hotel room
• I finally fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning and had planned to get up at 5am local time, but I slept through my alarm. Justin says he called me at 7 local time and told me to go back to sleep but I was so tired I don't even remember.
• I woke up ten minutes after I was supposed to be on campus.
• Luckily, campus was a block away and the French are remarkably forgiving about lateness, so everything went as planned. In fact, the French people I've actually met (aside from the nefarious wastes of flesh at the Gare) tend to be extremely helpful, kind, and understanding.
• Speaking of kind people (though not French ones), today I made friends with an Argentinian girl called Valentina (though she goes by Valen) and she was unbelievably kind and helpful to me today. She's also super into Lord of the Rings and comic books and assorted other geeky things and rock music, so we get along swimmingly. She doesn't speak English and my Spanish is the stuff of legendary awfulness so we are forced to speak French, which is kind of cool.
• The written and oral exams were remarkably easy and I expect a relatively high placement, which could mean that I'll have more free time.
• My classes will probably go from 10AM to 4PM Monday through Friday with an hour and a half break somewhere in the middle. 
• True story: When I got to my résidence, everything looked all closed up and I thought I wouldn't be able to get in, I legit just started crying on the steps. I then saw a cat walking to a little yellow hut further into the group of buildings and I saw people in there, and that's how I'm not sleeping in the bushes right now.
• My studio is on the fourth floor and as I have yet to encounter a single elevator in France, I had to haul a good 70-75 pounds of stuff up several flights of stairs until a random kind stranger helped me with one of my bags. 
• I have watched death row documentaries in which certain condemned have more space than I do in this studio.
• In France, I have yet to find a toilet with a seat.
• In France, I have yet to find tap water that wasn't amazing.
• I have spent far too long on this and I seriously need a shower before I start to grow mold.

 I hope this reassures you that I've not forgotten my promise to keep you updated; chance just threw about ten monkey wrenches into all my careful machinations. Luckily I have been on the receiving end of a great amount of random, unsolicited and unconditional human kindness and in spite of everything, I think I have way more faith in humanity now than I did last week.

To my well-wishers: I thank you for lending me your ear, and I wish you a pleasant afternoon (or whatever it happens to be in your time zone).

To my ill-wishers: Why are you reading this? Perverts.